Monday, June 25, 2012

Sometimes I just need a break.

The waves of emotion I feel are unbelievable. I cannot even verbayy describe how stressed and busy I feel. Some days I feel like I'm trapped right beneath the surface and just can't seem to break through and breathe. Other days I feel like the old me. One thing I have noticed the most is that I'm just not the same anymore. Big surprise, right?! Are any of us really the same after going through the things we've been through. One day I'm on the top of the world, the next in the bottom of the ocean. Some days I can't wait to be pregnant again and flirt with the thoughts of actually holding a sweet baby and giving Noah a sibling he can play with. Then others I sit and cry, thinking how hard it would be to have another pregnancy, to fight the fear every day. I dread the feeling of nerves and panic at every single twinge and cramp. I just can't fathom going through another pregnancy. Adoption is always an option but such a process. I feel so overwhelmed by everything in my life and where I am, physically and emotionally. Thank you all for hanging in there with me and continuing to support me. I am reading your blogs and I feel empowered by each of you. I promise to update more and SOON!!


  1. I completely understand and it is ok to feel that way. I've learned to take the good with the bad and just roll
    With the punches. Sometimes I forget to roll though and the wind gets knocked out of me. Only other mommies who have angel babies will understand the emotions that go with wanting another baby, and boy do I understand. Praying for you friend.

  2. Praying for you I know it is a roller coaster just hold on my friend. We are here when you feel like writing.

  3. Thinking of you and know exactly how you feel... I'm so fearful of another pregnancy too and have waves of emotion. What we've been through changes us so much... my heart goes out to you and here for you always xoxo