More than I expected

Phew!! I'm here everyone! No worries. The beginning of this "final semester" has been much more overwhelming than I anticipated. Wow. What a crazy schedule. Okay, so let's recap...

When I last left I was trying to figure out what this semester was going to be about. I've since come to the realization that when the professor repeatedly says "You are responsible for your educational success" she basically means you're on your own and don't expect me to teach. That was even more apparent when I took my first exam of the term last night and only got a 72% when my typical grade is 88-93%. UGH!!! Now I have to focus on recovering from that.

We did have a dosage calc exam last Thursday evening on the 12th. I was a little nervous about that one because of one of the types of questions that required you to titrate a dose. In the end, I knocked it out of the park and got 100%! Yay!

I also had my first hospital day of the term this past Saturday on the 21st. I was so excited and pumped about that. I LOVE bedside nursing and providing patient care!! Well, lets just say that my flame was put out when I was assigned to a gen-med floor where there were no PCTs and most of the patients were stable. I honestly spent the day being the PCT for the unit. I changed linens, took vitals, assisted patients to the bathroom and repositioned several of them. I removed IVs, fetched various snacks and beverages, had a couple of patients try to swindle me into sneaking them ice when they were supposed to be NPO, nothing by mouth, and sent two patients off the floor for procedures.

The day drug on and I just tried to stay busy. I ran into the clinical instructor a couple of times and tried to talk to her to pass the time but she wasn't really helpful. I am so frustrated with my clinical experience!! I know how to do these basic things! What I need to learn is how to program the IV pump, how to assess the bed-bound patient, how to use the EMR and plan out my day as a care provider! These are the things I'm missing. In a way, I can't wait for this program to be over and on the other hand I'm scared because I don't believe I will be prepared because the program has been more of a political game than an actual nurturing educational environment.

Towards the end of the clinical day on Saturday, all of a sudden there were a handful of things to keep busy!! There was a patient on the unit who was very demanding and probably kind of lonely. My partner and I spent a bit of time with her. Well, mostly my partner. She brushed the patient's hair, braided it, essentially gave the patient a bed bath, we both suctioned the patient, and about an hour later finally got out of the room. Hah. Then we got to go work on a patient who was having an unfortunate stay. He ended up getting a rectal tube, poor thing. It's so amazing the kind of medical interventions that are available.

It was a very long day!! Tonight there's a new class and another opportunity to get my you-know-what together and try to excel instead of just make it by. Haha. We'll see how that goes. I'll likely just try not to be a jerk but that's also just a maybe.

Next post will be an update on weight loss and health!!

Thursday!!

Well, maybe not a mid-week report but still an update!! So far this week, I have lost 4lbs! I am beyond excited. This is the start of something great!!

Today is also the day that I start interviewing venues for our 10yr anniversary party! I have a couple of different places in mind. I also need to order a cake, maybe a photographer, and possibly someone to renew our vows!! I am determined to have a much better time than I did at my actual wedding!

One of the places, I am visiting this afternoon and I cannot wait. I feel torn between two different themes. On the one hand I want to have a nice beach-themed party but on the other hand I want to have a nice, classy, fancy, cocktail hour kind of environment. It's definitely fun trying to find the balance.

Tonight is class 3 of 3 for the week. I don't quite feel overwhelmed by the schedule as much as I do the material. I thought that the demand of the schedule would be a bit more exhausting but then again it's just the first week. We'll see how I feel in a couple more weeks, especially once the clinical rotations start and exams start. I won't be able to find my life!!

Well, on to class! Catch up later. :)

Day 2 of 3!

Well.....I didn't get a chance to update last night. It was a long and dragging day. I was completely overwhelmed by all of the information that we went over in class and I tried to get some homework done.

It wasn't the actual content that had me stressed out and ready to run for the hills but more so the intensity of the schedule that we're going to be following. Just the simple thought that I will be spending three out of five night a week at school, making a trip to a separate campus on another weeknight AND trekking to the hospital on one of my weekend days just has me awestruck.

What is my life?!? What am I going to do? How am I going to make sure the house is clean? How am I going to cook dinners or find time for laundry? When do I study? Take a shower? Play with the kids? I am going to lose my mind!!

On top of the crazy schedule, they also requested that we attend a review class in April. The class is Monday through Thursday ALL DAY!!! How completely ridiculous!! I have a two week vacation scheduled in June! I don't have 32 extra hours of PTO to take off to attend this review!

I wanted to scream on more than one occasion last night. I also tried to be my normal, participating, over-responsive self but about an hour in I was asked to stop answering questions. I suppose it was a good thing and a bad thing. It was good because then I can kind of tune out the rest of the lecture because the Prof is less likely to call on me because she thinks I'm "an insufferable know it all" but bad because of the same. Screwed either way. :(

I got home last night close to 9pm and when I came in both kids were still awake! Ahhhhhhhh!!! Oh, and guess who was in bed?! Hmmmmmm. I just have to keep reminding myself that this is such a temporary season. There's only 16 weeks left and then I am done until I start my Master's work in August.

Time to focus on the light that is increasing at the end of this tunnel. I need to take a moment to breathe and enjoy this experience! I will make it through this. I will survive. I will THRIVE! I will SUCCEED!!

Here's to another night of fun and learning!! Tomorrow's update will include my mid-week weight loss report!

Oh!!!! Back to School! Back to School!

Today is the first day back to school!! 16 weeks and I am done!! This first 8 weeks promises to be extremely rigorous! First class is tonight followed by class tomorrow night and the night after! No word yet on if there are any commitments this weekend. First exam is a week from Thursday and then every Monday night! Saturday clinical starts on the 21st and run through the end of February when we have an exam on Saturday followed by the final a mere 2 days later.

I swear, if I last through the first 8 weeks, the last 8 will be a breeze! I'm confident in my skills and my ability to complete assignments but I'm worried about all of the exams. I barely have time to update my blog and manage my life. I sure as hell don't have hours upon hours of free time to try to learn something I'm unfamiliar with. I'm sure that the concepts are nothing new but damn, trying to feed the answers "by the book" are so different from "real-life" situations. The book is always so ideal.

Tonight I will find out more about the rest of the semester and I will update more in the future!!

In other news, I'm still fighting the desire to go to the gym. Ugh! I feel like I'm dying to go but with my work schedule, I don't think I'll ever make it. Plus, when I do have free time and I'm home I just want to stay there.

I'm preparing to do an 8-day challenge in February with the amazing supplements that I've been using. The 8-day challenge is so fun. It's like a cleanse and a kick starter! Guaranteed 8-15lbs gone!!

I created My Journey to Health and Happiness in 2017 page on facebook and I plan to open my February challenge to all of my friends on there as well! I will be hosting the challenge and one participant will win $100!! Lots of fun. How can anyone pass up a chance to lose weight AND a chance to win $100?!?

Come back tomorrow for a full report on how class went!

An open letter asking why...

You know who you are but I know you don't care. I'm not sure what's wrong and I'm not sure that it would make a difference if I did. You live your life for you. You are always number one in your world. I can't imagine living a life so selfish.

There have been so many times where I tried to reach out for help. I tried to ask for support. There were times when I needed you to step up to the plate. I needed a break but I never got one. I've learned that I don't have a choice. You've let me down and trapped me.

I can't walk away. I have to do it for them. I won't get a break. Even when I was at the lowest point in my life, I looked around and I was alone. I was crying out, begging for help. I needed someone to lift me up, to hold me, and to make me feel anything normal.

I've reached the point where there is little that surprises me or hurts my feelings. I've tried to talk it out but every word out of my mouth falls on deaf ears. There is no response and no compromise.

I am who I am because of you. I have been put in situations I never dreamed imaginable because of you. It's time to focus on me and my life. It's time for me to take the bull by the horns and not just live day-to-day.

I'm not saying good-bye or I'll miss you. I'm saying that at this point you have no control. You do not dictate what I do or define who I am. I will succeed not because of you but in spite of you.

Thank you for showing me that I don't need anyone to thrive. I am responsible for my own destiny!!

My last free weekend...

Yep, this is it. My last free weekend until April! Classes start next week. Clinical rotations start the week after. Then my state exam review course. After all of that fun starts N's soccer season begins. Throw in a couple of birthdays and the need to take a trip to check out a graduate program, I will be running non-stop from now until my vacation in June!!

My school schedule for the next 16 weeks is insane!! I have actual class three nights a week. Exams are on another night each week. I have to go to the hospital to complete clinical hours on Saturdays and I have a separate board review/test prep class.

Somehow I will manage working full time, all of the class demands, paper writing, anniversary planning, soccer practices, meal planning and prep, maintaining the house, and having fun with the kids!! This is my crucible. This is my sink or swim moment. I am so excited!

This weekend was pretty uneventful. I reorganized the kitchen, played outside with the kids, cooked amazing meals, and cleaned everything! We had donuts and dance parties. We blew bubbles in the wind. We played with play-doh and brushed each other's hair. I love being a mom and hanging out with my babies!!

Tonight, in honor of my last relaxed, family meal I am making a full Sunday dinner! The menu includes ham, potatoes, green beans, rolls, gravy, coleslaw, and berry cobbler for dessert. One last hurrah before crunch time hits and we are doing it up BIG!!!

Lucky me though, I have my handy-dandy supplements on deck to power me through my hectic schedule and keep me on the road to health and happiness in 2017!!

My Health and Wellness 2017

As many of you know, I love to be classy and fashionable. You also know that I love eating great food. After three pregnancies, the loss of a child, PTSD, and breastfeeding for over 4 years of my life my weight became a HUGE problem. My defining moment was around February 2016.

It was my first clinical day and I was so excited to be doing what I love and wearing my white uniform!! Well, until I put it on. Somehow between the time I ordered the coveted uniform and two months later when I wore it for the first time, I had gained 20 pounds. I was so uncomfortable and super self conscious. I couldn't sit comfortably while wearing my uniform, and frankly felt like a sausage. It was then that I decided that I'd had enough!

I was done being tired. I was done being disgusted with myself. I was done being a sausage. I started researching and looking for something that I could use to first boost my energy. I preferred an all-natural product and definitely something that didn't give me awful side effects. I tried some green tea supplements but I was jittery, tachycardic, and would get terrible headaches. After a couple of weeks searching and trying product after product. I felt defeated. Then, I found an all-natural supplement that boasted increased energy, rare side effects, and a guarantee of satisfaction that I could NOT argue with.

I bit the bullet and tried it. I started with one and no problems. Then I went to one twice a day, still no problems. I added a vitamin, then a superfood supplement, then a snack shake for when I was driving to class, running to soccer, or stuck in the office for lunch. This combination of supplements made me feel amazing!! I had more energy, no pain, I felt well rested, and I had a great grab and go snack that fit my schedule.

I soon realized that not only was I feeling better but I was managing my weight and was beyond ecstatic when I lost 40 pounds after only about 3 months. I was satisfied, on a roll, and wanted to keep on going. I stopped all of the supplements and wanted to "do it on my own". I have gained back about 10 of those pounds but never fear, I received a brand new box of my favorite supplements and I am ready to get back on my journey to health and happiness!!

I hope you'll join me and follow my journey!! If you're interested in trying the supplements as well, leave a comment or shoot me an email and I will be more than delighted to introduce you!

**Here's to all of us and improving our health and happiness in 2017**