Monday, January 9, 2017

An open letter asking why...

You know who you are but I know you don't care. I'm not sure what's wrong and I'm not sure that it would make a difference if I did. You live your life for you. You are always number one in your world. I can't imagine living a life so selfish.

There have been so many times where I tried to reach out for help. I tried to ask for support. There were times when I needed you to step up to the plate. I needed a break but I never got one. I've learned that I don't have a choice. You've let me down and trapped me.

I can't walk away. I have to do it for them. I won't get a break. Even when I was at the lowest point in my life, I looked around and I was alone. I was crying out, begging for help. I needed someone to lift me up, to hold me, and to make me feel anything normal.

I've reached the point where there is little that surprises me or hurts my feelings. I've tried to talk it out but every word out of my mouth falls on deaf ears. There is no response and no compromise.

I am who I am because of you. I have been put in situations I never dreamed imaginable because of you. It's time to focus on me and my life. It's time for me to take the bull by the horns and not just live day-to-day.

I'm not saying good-bye or I'll miss you. I'm saying that at this point you have no control. You do not dictate what I do or define who I am. I will succeed not because of you but in spite of you.

Thank you for showing me that I don't need anyone to thrive. I am responsible for my own destiny!!

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