Showing posts with label new beginnings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new beginnings. Show all posts

Friday, January 6, 2017

MY 2017!!!

This is the year of ME!! I am so focused on the rays of light shining in my tunnel I can barely express it!!

2017 schedule of events;

January- classes resume!! Term 4
               Receive a super re-stock on my favorite all-natural supplements
               Tell at least 10 of my friends about how great ^^^ those supplements are! and start a health                  and wellness group with them

February- complete my first 30-day challenge and share my results, shout them from the rooftops!!
                 First 8 weeks of Term 4 will be completed

March- 10 year anniversary celebration
             Spring Break
             Clara's 5 year Angelversary
           

April- N's birthday
           Term 4 Final Exam!

May- Graduation!
          State Licensing Exam

June- Summer Break
          Vacation

July- December- Searching for my dream job or a dream residency
                            Family Reunion
                            Everyone's birthday
                            Every other holiday!

So, as you can see, I am packed full of goodness for 2017!! I plan to continue to update this blog as much as I can, especially once school starts! I want to share my health journey with everyone and all of the joy I can!!



Tuesday, January 3, 2017

What's been up with me?!?

Last I left off in 2013 I was a hot hot mess. I was in the depths of depression and full blown PTSD. Experiencing the loss of a child is horrific! Add to that the insult of being treated like a lunatic drug seeker by your healthcare team and it wrecks your life. After that experience I decided that medicine was not for me. I couldn't trust my judgement. I couldn't advocate for myself much less a patient who trusted me. I couldn't even walk by the hospital without getting a pit in my stomach, without panicking, without being put right back in the moment when I honestly thought I was dying.

I spent much of 2013 running to the ER struck with flashbacks, hallucinations, and pain. I became a burden to my family. The hubs never went with me or lifted me up so I began to rely on my mom to rescue me. Well, after a couple of late night calls to beg her to come sit in the ER with me I could tell that she was over me. I was becoming an inconvenience and a nuisance. I stopped calling. I began facing all of my battles and struggles alone.

I had to change my major in school. I had always been set on being a doctor. I wanted to be the best, be the smartest, and be the most successful but alas, I couldn't even look at the hospital without breaking a sweat. I dropped my pre-med major and switched to Health Administration. I tackled that coursework like a pro!! and graduated in December 2014 but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I struggled through day to day activities and lost the joy and happiness of living. I was simply surviving. I was afraid ALL of the time. I would sit at my desk and cry. I had so many triggers that would just set me off. In one of my most desperate moments I was lying on the floor in an exam room, at work, crying, begging, pleading for everything to stop! I was caught in the middle of the worst "attack" I've ever had. Coming out of it I decided that there was no one out there capable of saving me. I needed to save myself or I would consume myself. After that moment day-by-day I made little improvements.

The hubs and I welcomed our third baby in June 2014. Her delivery was also close to a disaster but for other reasons which I'll post about in the future but it was also a healing time. My pregnancy was uneventful. I enjoyed it but mostly just because I LOVE being pregnant. I had a hard time bonding with her after she was born. She was more my project and responsibility than my sweet new baby. We've come a long way and even enjoyed a great 15 months of actual breastfeeding (pumping until 2yrs).

In August 2015 we took another trip to Ireland! It was so much more enjoyable than our first as I was not actively battling PTSD and depression, fighting to survive. We rented an adorable apartment and traveled as we pleased. Baby girl handled the trip fantastically!! She is a born traveler.

In October 2015 I was accepted into a local nursing program. It has been an amazing journey and I am ecstatic to say that next week I will be starting my last 16 weeks of the program and plan to take my licensing exam at the end of May. Then we're off to Northern Ireland for our first experience there and then across to Scotland for another first!!

Well, that's the EXTREMELY condensed version of the last 3+ years. :)

-Victoria-

Monday, January 2, 2017

Welcome to 2017!!

Wow! I've been gone from the blogging world for far too long!! This year promises to be a very prosperous one full of changes, advances, hope, and new beginnings. I am looking forward to sharing this year with all of you and will update my profile as well as my family role call soon!!

Lots of love,
Victoria